Sweet Tears

My cousin Ronnie was very honest and sweet in a post (which is ever so true and real) in this post: Ronnie's Thursday Thirteen.

I'm forever blessed for those who would give to us if they could, who have given to us (because they could), who have given their thoughts, prayers, candles, and so much energy to us towards having a child. Words cannot even express how grateful we are.

Let me explain exactly what has been going on, and I realize it has been a bit jumbled, but I was a bit unsure of what to put online afraid of maybe being bombarded with people's views of it all - when in all actuality, I didn't care about anyone else's views, but what Kauleen and I wanted to do. *Shrug* so here goes it.........

It had been brought up by our doctors office (Bham IVF) that there was a couple that needed eggs and they asked me if I would be willing to donate and in turn, they would pay for 1/2 of IVF (approx. $5,000). Since Kauleen and I had already discussed doing IVF, this was pretty much a no-brainer. We help them, they help us. We waited, waited, and waited .... didn't hear anything. I finally started my period yesterday, very excitedly called Bham IVF (in hopes of doing it this month) and for legality reasons and because this initial couple decided against my eggs, we cannot do it this month. I wasn't officially in the "donor" pool, but they were just trying to find someone who could split my eggs with me.

(To put it into prospective - most donors create 20+ eggs (which obviously I have no problem doing with the right medicine!) and most people don't use 10 eggs (say a few eggs for implanting, a few for siblings and then the rest are just stored) so in other words, the couple I'm donating too - will get 1o eggs and I'll get 10 eggs. (the rest, if any, will be thrown out).

I am now officially in the donor pool and just waiting for someone to choose me. I told Kauleen, every month when my period comes I'm going to be like "I wonder if this is my month!"......she thinks they can adjust my cycle for their cycle.....*shrug* all I know is someday I'll get a call that someone has chosen me as their donor and we'll have to scramble to get time off, etc. It'll will all work out.

THE GREAT NEWS out of all of this mumble jumble, if I still have your attention....... :) is that doing it the donor way....... the couple pays for my medicines, I get paid for donating ($2,500) and in the end we may come out $300 in our pocket. :) So, we'll save for the next few months.....maybe until August, see what we have financially and if we haven't heard on a donor by then, we'll possibly try IVF at the price tag stated previously. For now, I'll get my hiney in gear and sell, sell, sell on ebay and craigslist to make some extra dough.

I'm ready for Life is Good to be able to hang out, chat, and have some good times. I need to be able to relax......too many *hard* decisions lately. After LIG, we haven't decided on what we're doing.....to vacation or not to vacation.....that is the question.