Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sundays Thoughts On Kids

We watched Braxton last night (our about once a month bout for free haircuts) and every time he comes I enjoy it - but - every time it makes me thankful for our peace and quiet - and how people do it?? :) I continually tell myself - It will be different with yours............ you'll know their quirks, their lifestyle, the things they enjoy, etc........

I try to not say NO and have continually thought of Parenting a Free Child and the the things in the back of the book that make me go "WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU SAY?" for instance: Good Job! I tried to make sure I didn't say it and it is probably more because it is just a blanket way of saying something instead of "naming" what he did a good job at - ie; You're riding that bike so fast!, etc.

NO is hard also.......if at 7am he is wanting to get dressed and go looking for worms - but wants you to join him? I want my coffee and to just wake up!! BTW, we did get dressed shortly there after and go looking for worms ;o)

Do you *always* do what the kid wants - when they want? I guess this question isn't for every parent - but the ones who unschool.

I need some explanation here. :)

Our lawn mower is now in the shop :) can't wait to find out what needs to be done and if it is too expensive to even fix. I JUST WANT TO MOW!!!

We went to breakfast after the boy left and now K's sleeping (she's trying not to get sick......although I think it has hit her - we both had a very unrestful night of sleep) and we're just hanging low.

Tomorrow starts another work week..........ugh.

Have I said how much I can't wait for Life is Good?



Ronnie said...

It will be different with yours
Yes. Being with your own kids, while busy, is a very peaceful, centered place. It fills you up. Time with OPKs can be that way, too, of course, but there's this extra peace that comes when it's just your family.

The idea is to avoid making your approval part of the kid's self-esteem. So, instead of *approving* the kid's accomplishments, you take note of them. "You did it." "I saw you walk away when Sammy made you mad." And yes, "You're riding that bike so fast!"

NO is hard also
This is not about blanket permissiveness. It is about treating our children's desires as things worthy of our time and prioritization. Looking for worms at the crack of dawn? "Yes, let's do that right after I finish my coffee. Why don't you look in the cupboard for something to put them in?" Mixing great quantities of sugar and water? "What a fun idea! I think the bathtub would be an excellent place to try that." Jumping on the furniture? "That old couch might fall apart if we do that, but I have this exercise trampoline you can jump on."

And then there's the request that will not, no matter how you shuffle things around, fit into today. "Ohhh, I wish we could! Let's write it down so we'll remember to do it tomorrow."

Remember that the kids who hear these things have parents who don't lie to them, who keep their promises, and who offer an unqualified "Yes!" whenever possible. The kids understand that they count and that what they want is a priority for the whole family. So those times when you can't offer the unqualified "Yes!" are accepted; they trust you.


Stump Home said...

No I do not do what the kids want all the time..and sometimes I do. It's about balance. You have to simply remember they are coming into YOUR life. You're opening your arms to that child.

When it is your own, you will find 'your happy medium'. Every parent does...regardless of no's, yesses, and maybe's. :-)