Too Much - Out Of Sorts

Today I've been a bit out of sorts.........may have been my exercising that I'm starting to do and did a little to much this morning? or could it be that we've had nothing but emotionally draining/exciting/exhausting stress for the past few months? and/or that work has been overly exhausting, busy and we're trying to implement a new incentive program (starting April 1) with people gone? (oh and that this new incentive program will cut our pay in probably 1/4 of what it was?) UGH.

WITH THAT ALL SAID.............

I'm very thankful for Erin and her willingness to share her books, diaper covers, and goods with me for a future baby :)

I'm very thankful for my Mom and her patience in *helping* me fill out massive amounts of paperwork on family history.

I'm very thankful for Kauleen and the sweet note she wrote me on the computer this morning - after - a really silly not so fun morning :o(

I'm very thankful for the call we got last week from Bellingham IVF, the opportunity that is rising from it......not yet set in stone...... we will not be trying in April but looks as if we may be able to do Invitro (IVF) in May........we're working out a lot of the details (and trying to work around the Life Is Good conference - where I won't be needing to take care of my embroys!) So......that's been a bit of a stresser too.........wanting to do it all.........but how to work it all in. UGH.

We need a vacation............and it is coming soon.

Love to you all.
Randi

Friday Fill-In

1. Some relationships are meant to be between cat and human.
2. Michelle and Gemma is the last concert I saw at NCN; it was fantastic!
3. Spring should be a heckuva lot warmer than it is now!
4.Oh no! I forgot to feed the cat!
5. I've recently started filling out lots of paperwork for a very awesome decision Kauleen and I have made.
6. Babies and cats never fail to make me smile.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to work ending today (it's been a crazy week!) , tomorrow my plans include going to Bothell to baby sit the twins and to celebrate K's neices 5th BIRTHDAY and Sunday, I want to fill out Jenae's baby shower invitations, finish my paperwork, read Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth, and relax!!

Thursday Thirteen

THIRTEEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT SPRING and I couldn't quite make it to 13........but you get the idea. I'm exhausted! GOOD NIGHT!

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If You Were Asked...

What is your ultimate goal or ambition in life - what would you say?

Short and Sweet

I'm exhausted tonight. Today was the hardest of the past 2 days......and not having started my period *and* still having symptoms of possibly *being* pregnant - just keeps one's hopes up a smidge. (It took 4 days for me to start last time........)

After much discussion today.......and throughout the night...... we'll continue onward and upward with doing the same medicated cycle next month. We both *feel* as if this cycle went as planned and went *very* well. We have vacation planned during this cycle too........which will help with the stress level. :)

I'm off to bed...........
XOXOXO!

Happy Birthday Ryan!

Today my sister turned 29 - the age she says she will forever stay. :)

Hope it was wonderful!

Love you!!

Negative, Negative and Positively Negative

The blood test came back negative today. BIG BUMMER. My counts were slightly "elevated" but not enough to count as a pregnancy.

We'll start trying again this month as soon as my period arrives........within the next 1-4 days probably.

It wouldn't be so hard to grasp if we didn't have to pay so much to have it. EVEN wanting it as bad as we do - it is the money that hangs us up.

I really want to do Invitro.....just can't seem to cough up the $10,000 - knowing in the end it could be a negative. ugh.

Thank you for all your support. I'm taking it pretty well (much better than the last) but that probably helped having 2 negative pregnancy tests. I NOW KNOW........to trust what they tell me.

Love you all.
Randi

For Ronnie

(because I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to post this comment on your blog - you get a special post on OUR blog!)

Easter Happenings

We went to my Aunt and Uncles in Baker Lake today to celebrate Easter. My cousins and all their kids were there and we sure had a fun time!

We came home and I fell asleep in the chair while Kauleen went out and about running errands. It was all I could do not to just cry ..... I was exhausted.

I'm very anxious for the blood test tomorrow. I'm still have bouts of queasiness, bouts of going to the bathroom often, and very itchy nipples. :)

If this doesn't take......we'll keep trying. It is exhausting.

There is an option of spending $30,000 and they guarantee a live birth or you get your money back........but $30,000! YOWCH! (and that doesn't include everything in those procedures).

Hope you all had a Happy Easter.
Randi

Kauleen's Personality Painting

Click here to create your own painting.

Damn It!

We tested this morning and it was negative..............

I still *feel* pregnant......I'll have the blood test tomorrow and until it comes back negative still have a slight little hope.

I hate this news..........its devestating. ugh.

Randi

Personality Painting

Click here to create your own painting.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

I must have posted about this book already once......but was worth re-posting about. This book has changed my life. I haven't done anything of the sort to *change* it yet - but has allowed me to look deeper and realize my many quirks, etc. make up WHO I am.

If you haven't read it - and are interested in understand yourself a bit more - read it.

I loved it. Most others will too. AND if you have read it - leave me a comment on your thoughts :)

Randi

P.S. I'm sitting here tonight feeling queasy...........sure hope it is a sign..........

UGH!

Tomorrow can not get here fast enough......................

I'm making myself crazy.............


Randi

A-B-C Meme (tagged by Awesome Ronnie!)

A-Available - to hang out? SURE AM!

B-Best friend - Kauleen....my cat Rosa follows a close 2nd :)

C-Cake or Pie? - PIE! (with no palm oil, please!)

D-Drink of choice: I love Frappachino's.......(don't get them because of lactose intolerance......but man they are yummy!)

E-Essential - my sweats and a sweatshirt!

F-Favorite color - white - yes, I love it. (or the absence of it!?)

G-Gummi bears or worms: Gummi worms

H-Hometown: Mt. Vernon (but lived in Wenatchee - and *loved* it. I'd move there in a heartbeat!)

I-Indulgence: Cadberry Mini Eggs and/or ICE CREAM! :) (see D above)

J-January or February: Either one, especially if it snows!

K-Kids and names: Right now they are Harry and Hermione :)

L-Life: is grand! :)

M-Marriage date: September 9, 2001 (I believe)! 5 years this year....

N-Number of siblings: 1 sister - Ryan :)

O-Oranges or apples: I don't really like either.........I prefer oranges - they don't like me all that much though.....

P-Phobias: being scared by people - I hate it.

Q-Quote: "I wish I was a glow worm, a glow worm is never glum, for how can you be unhappy when the sun shines out your bum" author unknown

R-Reason to smile - Cats snoring next to me ;)

S-Season: Summer and Spring

T-Tag - you're it!

U-Unknown fact about me: I cannot look "up" a lot of times. I have an issue with dizzyness/vertigo and looking up causes my head to spin and the ground beneath me to feel as if it is falling. I've had it nearly all my life.

V-Vegetable you don't like: Canned corn and I'm sure lots of other things. :)

X-X-rays you have had: Kidney stones, back, teeth :)

Y-Your favorite food: Mom's famous pork roast and canned baby taters MMMMM

Z-Zodiac: Gemini (along with everyone else from LIG!)

Friday Fill-In (a day late)

1. Thinking I'm pregnant is so exciting!
2. Strawberry fields make my mouth water!
3. Chocolate mini-eggs sound like they would taste delicious! (and are!)
4. Why do comments on my blog make me feel so good?!
5. The birth of my baby is something I've always wanted to see.
6. It's sad, very sad when you get a negative pregnancy test.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to vegging, tomorrow my plans include Adult Easter Egg Hunt and hanging out as K's gone for the day with a friend to Seattle to watch Mama Mia and Sunday, I want to CELEBRATE a positive pregnancy test and enjoy a special celebration of Easter with my aunt and family - and Monday Kauleen and I will have a special celebration after my blood test!!

Down Time

I finally have a bit of down time to write something substantial :)

I went to my acupuncture appointment last night and as he was feeling my pulse (and talking to me about when I was inseminated) I asked him if there was a way for him to tell me I was pregnant. :) He checked my other pulse (right hand) and said "the sounds of it to me would mean your pregnant!" :) So, we'll see......I immediately came home and looked it up online and I've heard of people being told they were pregnant by acupuncturists! :)

I got out of bed this morning and felt a bit queasy...... and have felt a bit off kilter all day today.

Lots of not so good stuff/changes going on at work :o( K and I are just seeing what becomes of it.........and we'll make decisions as needed.

We're looking into what is called "Recasting". It is like $300.00 and what you do, is you pay a chunk of money down on your principal and then they re-amortize your loan from the date you recast. K's sister Laurie is thinking of doing it - and it would knock their payment down $400 a month! We're contemplating doing it if we rent our house out..........(which isn't necessarily anytime soon.............but if we're prego........ we'll seee) Call you lender if your interested.............its a lot cheaper than a refinance if you have the money to put down!

I'm pretty tired so I'm going to wrap it up.

Anyone who is interested - there is an ADULT EASTER EGG HUNT at SKAGIT VALLEY GARDENS on SATURDAY at 1pm :) I'll be there. :)

Randi

Have I Told You Latley?

I HOPE I AM PREGNANT?!?!

Quick Post

I'm here still :)

Shots are still as painful as ever..........and I'm getting closer :) I'm now on the path of thinking about it daily - and asking "Am I pregnant!?". We're sure hoping so.

I'll write more later.
Randi

Pink Blog

Ok for those who saw my pink blog - and thought it was because I wanted a girl - WRONG!!! :) I thought it was spring like and so I changed it.

Thinking about it - I didn't want to jinx myself.....so I'm back to my neutral colors but a bit of a different layout. I'll stay with this template awhile.

Not too much going on just working, eating and sleeping. I've been battling allergies...... :o/ I've been tested for them and no doctor can tell me what *type* of allergies I have - but massive drainage and yucky goo. ugh. So, Clariton (safe in pregnancy - THANK GOODNESS!) has been my best friend.

I tried acupuncture last night.....it didn't hurt and wasn't too bad. We'll try a few more sessions.....and see how it goes. He says after a few sessions I should feel like "floating out!" :)

Kauleen had a grand idea that we'd try to do decaffeinated coffee (best for baby and mom). I struggled for days with no energy, migraines, etc.......I kept saying for the ONE CUP of coffee I have each morning (and I'm lucky if I drink the full cup) I *need* my caffeine. So, we broke down this morning and got mocha's.......oh my gosh I feel like a different person. VERY sad that I'm so addicted to my one cup.........but I NEED IT!

I'm feeling much better after the 2 days of major cramping. THAT WAS AWFUL!! It is a sign of nothing I've ever had before.........and I'm feeling very positive towards this.......really am. I've had different things/signs.........I guess I just have a *feeling*. *shrug* we'll see..........I get to test in a few weeks. :)

Love to you all and THANK YOU for all that are hoping, praying, lighting candles and sending all energy our way.

P.S. If you comment - please post your name. I'm being baffled by some of the comments from people but don't know where they came from :) They are lovely thoughts for us (am so blessed for that) but would love to show appreciation to you individually sometimes too :)

Insemination

The insemination is done :) and there was a beautiful rainbow over our house tonight :)

I had major cramping today - left work at 2:30pm........came home put my rice pack in the microwave and slept and you know how when you puke - sometimes your stomache hurts? That is exactly what my lower stomache feels like - someone has taken it out, stomped on it - and put it back in. I walk horribly funny..............but oh well. All I can take is tylenol.

This is *totally* different than something I have ever experienced.............and I believe is what childbirth will be like. :) If so, I can handle it.................with lots of support :)

I'll post more soon.
Randi

Grow Eggs Grow

I got the HCG shot last night/this morning at 12:00am :) I'll be inseminated on Monday at 12:00pm.....

My body is exactly where it needs to be to conceive.

Any prayers, thoughts and good wishes towards a positive pregnancy is greatly appreciated.

Randi and Kauleen

Today's Doctors Visit

I went to Bellingham today for an "egg" check up and I'm cooking up 3 good eggs! We'll continue with the medicine I'm on now - and on Sunday will give me a shot of HCG and Monday will be the insemination.

I am getting very excited and I'm being positive that this one is going to take.

I'll post more tomorrow night with more "in-depths" of some stuff - but for now - that it.

Have a great weekend!

Friday Fill-In (I need the code!)

1. Ahhhh, it's so nice to be home from work, have yummy blueberries in the fridge to snack on, have 2 more days ahead of me to relax and enjoy!

2. One of my favorite things on my desk is my ergonomic keyboard! I love it!

3. Japanese Cherry Blossom tea is yummy!.

4. In my chair with the heating pad on is my favorite place to sit and read.

5. Blueberries and waffles are delicious!

6. I love to watch nothing in movies - I don't watch them and when I do try to watch them, I sleep through them.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to reading my book and blogging, tomorrow my plans include going to Bellingham and then hanging out with Kauleen and Sunday, I want to get an HCG shot, hang out with Kauleen and read my book!!

Relaxin' Days

Kauleen and I have had the past 3 days off - and it has been so nice. We've both still been trying to get to feeling 100% better from the icky cold we both had!

We picked up Mark (her brother) and Margaret that flew in from Oklahoma on Friday night so we picked them up in Bothell at K's sisters :) we enjoyed a nice visit with the whole family (Gerry - dad, Laurie - sister, Mark - brother, Carlo - brother in law, Amelia - 4 (almost 5- march 28th) niece, Malaney - 2 - niece, Baby Maggie - almost 1 :o) and Baby Carlo! It was very enjoyable.......

Saturday Mark and Margaret did some hanging out with Dad and Kauleen and I had no energy....(which you will see is a pattern!) so we hung out here at home and took a nap, and chilled.

Sunday we went back to Bothell for Kauleen's BIG 4-0 Birthday Bash with the family. Laurie's Gma and little sister from Oklahoma had also flown in on Saturday with Jynna's new baby Keegan - so literally - it was a family reunion! I got to meet family I hadn't met and am looking forward to meeting MOM the first week in April when she flies out from Oklahoma!

Monday - Mark and Margaret had dinner plans and spent the afternoon again with Dad. I was going a bit stir crazy and I believe K was too - but guess what? We didn't do anything!! We just hung out, read, and chilled out.

Tuesday (the BIRTH-day!) Mark and Margaret went to Seattle and I had a massage at 10:00am. I got a massage a few weeks back - but sometimes if I haven't gone for awhile I need to go a few times close by because the knots just do not get worked out the first time. I had a cold the previous time I went and felt miserable upon my return. After this massage, I felt wonderful............relaxed and pain-free! It was one of my *best* massages. Danniell Naumann - Synergy Salon - she rocks. :) We didn't do anything spectacular this day either..........had no energy - just hung out.

The past few days were amazingly awesome in the fact that Kauleen and I both were just content staying home and doing nothing..........

Wednesday (Today) we woke up early to take Mark and Margaret back to the airport - traffic sucked. We left at 8am and got to the airport at about 9:45! We then drove back home and had an appointment in Bellingham - so did that - and after a day of driving - got home at 2pm! We got us some ice cream ;o) (a very special treat for Randi being lactose intolerant) and then a nap! Now we are doing laundry, I'm blogging, listening to tunes........and gonna get ready for the work day tomorrow.

BABY STUFF

We finally got all of our correct paperwork into NW Cryobank and as of tomorrow the boys should be at the clinic! :) Our #1 was still in quarantine so we had to choose #2 - which was fine :) and here's how Kauleen describes him:

We hope that his magical powers will snatch my snitch.

Black hair, green eyes - and here is his link: (#434)

http://www.nwcryobank.com/donor_details.asp?ID=256

I start taking Butrelle shots tomorrow (in the stomach) and have another doctors appointment on Friday - and the doctor was talking today about Sunday and/or Monday being the insemination point! :o) I had 4 eggs today......we'll see how many we have on Friday.

We're really hoping this is the last try............financially and emotionally.

I've been out of sorts lately - could be all the company and such. Am looking into maybe trying a few different options.........maybe even acupuncture.

I've been told to eat lots of good fat for the baby - so avocado's are filling my fridge. AND if you haven't been to COSTCO to get their FRESH BLUEBERRIES - you MUST! We eat frozen blueberries on cereal every morning - but these fresh blueberries are to DIE for. (speaking of which - our Costco is open until 8:30pm so I will be making a special run tonight there for a special baby treat!) :)

2 last pieces of information:

1) I am not a huge reader. I tend to play on the computer and enjoy that time rather than reading. I don't watch TV all that much either (usually sleep!) but I checked out a book from the library after having seen that my cousin (MJ - thanks!) was reading it - Eat, Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. It is rocking my world. I am understanding every aspect of her life and her being..........and I'm hoping it inspires me (which it has done) to better myself and do *what* Randi needs.

2) Life Is Good - I cannot wait for this conference to get here. I'm looking forward to the door decorating, the talent show, the UNChoir (which I plan on partaking in), hoping there will be someone there who does DRUMS? (I'm thinking congo?), meeting and hanging out with fun, crazy, wild people and then am looking even more forward to the week after traveling down the coast with the love of my life :) with a baby on board ;o)

LIFE is good.
Randi

Happy B-I-G 40 Kauleen!

Donor Information

I thought it would be fun for me to post our choices of donor(s) for those who would like to partake and read their profiles may do so. :) We'll get longer profiles, etc. upon getting pregnant - which of course - will be this time :)

1) http://www.nwcryobank.com/donor_details.asp?ID=260 (#280)
2) http://www.nwcryobank.com/donor_details.asp?ID=256 (#434)
3) http://www.nwcryobank.com/donor_details.asp?ID=257 (#464)
4)http://www.nwcryobank.com/donor_details.asp?ID=286 (#188G)

There are good things to each of these donors with characteristics we wanted and/or didn't want - but they are in order as to how we will order. (We have to choose more than one in case they do not have that donor available). All of the above donors have had a successful pregnancy.

I'm headed to bed!
Randi

Company, Work, etc...

We're off for the next 5 days! YAHOOOOOOO!! :) that calls for celebration. Work has been trying lately.....don't know whether it was that we just needed time off (which it hasn't been all that long ago we had a day off) but some people have been more irritating than others.........(I suppose it probably doesn't help that I've been on my period and now on this drug for baby stuff)....oh well - Others were feeling it also.

We spent most of the night last night in Bothell picking up K's brother Mark and his gfriend Margaret from Oklahoma! :) we sure enjoyed the nieces/nephew and their entertainment. We'll be traveling back down tomorrow for a pre-Birthday bash for K :)

I'll post pictures soon of the decorations at work :) work got her a massage and I got her 40 - $1 scratch tickets to cover her monitor. :) She won $17.

I went b-day shopping today and got no where, oh joy. I hate shopping (especially by myself) let alone going out with things in mind and coming home 2 hours later with NOTHING. oh well - I came home and ordered something online. LOL Should have started there!!

I've known this for a long time......but I'm very sensitive. I think I've learned to toughen up a bit but sometimes I just take things personally - whether they were meant to be taken that way or not. I guess the first step is acknowledging it.

That's it for now..........I'll post more later.
Randi