Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Stages of Rudy/Ideas

We are in a fun stage (they have all been fun!) but it is more fun in the reality of mama letting Rudy decide what our plans are for the day.

I think in traditional parenting, if the mama has something to do, she just makes the child do it to (with fighting, battles, kicking, possibly screaming and such - it is THEIR agenda!)

BUT with Attachment Parenting, it is different and maybe it has nothing to do with AP, other than I want to nurture him and listen to HIS needs/wants.

So today for example, we had a toddler time we were going to go to. Rudy has been off kilter the last few days and today he was off still. I had invited a few friends to join us and so felt as if I NEEDED to be there (got a call from a friend 1/2 hour before reassuring her that we would be there as they weren't feeling up to par either but her son wanted to go since we would be there). Rudy let me change his diaper while watching TV, but didn't want his shoes on. It is raining buckets outside, although he didn't need his shoes for the car ride OR the gym time). Then he didn't want his coat. Once again, raining buckets...but off we went with coat in mamas hand and not on. We had to drop off K her lunch and Rudy was crying to not get to hug her. So, I took him out and we went in and hugged her as he laid his head on her shoulder and snuggled in. I am getting a feeling that he isn't feeling top notch (and one of his eyes has been watering for 2 days now) and he has been teething and waking earlier than he had been.

So in listening to his needs/wants (which I have been doing all along -- it is just now he has a voice/opinion!) he may not want to do some of these activities, up until the last minute. So, how do I not hurt others feelings IF we don't come because well, Rudy just doesn't want to and Mama isn't going to make him. (There obviously will be times that things need to get done, but even with those they can be planned way ahead/other options -- appointments, etc.)

We do have a music class we are in 1x a week. We will make sure the day before is a total down day so the car ride/class is extra fun.

Any thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?

1 comment:

Jenna Robertson said...

:) Having friends who understand your parenting approach really helps. And if you have to cancel last minute be straight forward as to why, "Rudy has decided he doesn't want to go out today," or whatever the case may be.

I've noticed w/ my daughter's teen unschooled friends that they totally understand when she cancels because she doesn't feel like hanging out that day. The teens are used to having their feelings respected and they are respectful of others feelings and choices :) It's cool to see how being respectful of our children's needs models for them how to be respectful of other people's needs.