Watching other parents has always inspired me. I tend to learn a lot from hearing how others interact, what they say, how they deal with a situation, etc. In the past few days, I've really run into a few parents that I realize REALLY inspire me and if I could just hang out with them more, I think I'd be a better parent because of it! :o)
I'm not one to read books about parenting (although sometimes do dig a book out - like last night was reading Naomi Aldort Raising our Children, Raising Ourselves) but that is a rare occasion.
I'm not worried about the way we are parenting Rudy in any aspect, just hope that the words I use, the terms I use, the way I state things - doesn't put him down in any way, but helps him.
I really struggle with not "praising". We try not to say "Good Job" and instead might say "That was FAST running!" I tend to tell him he is CUTE ... A LOT! What else can I say? He IS freakin' adorable and charming....
This really is just rambling.....and I hear Rudy so gotta run.
FEEL FREE TO COMMENT!!
A Lotophagus in the Land of the Puritans
5 days ago
3 comments:
On the praise thing - You can also ask questions. Interest!
Cute - Complimenting friends is a nice thing to do! I think this is really different from praise, which is all wrapped up with "I like you better when you..."
What's wrong with praise? I praise Jake when he does something well...but I do try to not over-do it so that it becomes meaningless. As a kid, and even now as an adult - I like praise. Maybe I just don't get it.
I imagine that most Aldort/Alfie Kohn fans would disagree, but... I always feel that "cute" is safe, because it is not a judgement the way that "good job" can be. It is an observation of the innate awesomeness of your child. They are cute even when they are doing things you find odious... and it isn't a judgement of appearance either. Just my opinion :)
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